Proud to be a Freerangetarian

It is hard to get invited out to dinner when people find out that I am a freerangetarian. What do you cook a weird hippy freerangetarian? is it all just eggs with deep orange yolks or roast pork with sunburnt skin!

Somtimes I don't tell people I am a freerangetarian, and I scoff down the chicken that owes it's flavour to the miracles of modern chemistry rather than nutrition, but when I think of those poor birds that had to swallow down soy pellets all their life I can't help it.

"Sorry, but this food is not kosher, this chicken died happy, because it lived miserably, also I need 10 times more Vitamin A and Vitamin D than most people, and your cheaply raised battery food may as well be tofu for all the nutrients it contains !"

Needless to say, I wont be coming to their house again, but I don't care, I don't want to associate with people who think food comes from factories!

My wife cringes, and gives me that look that says I am going to be recited a list of every social grace I have broken tonight, and you are going listen or sleep on the couch.

Once I was happily eating a green salad, and my host mentioned how amazing these hydroponic tomatoes are!
Suddenly I was sick, and the blasphemous item projected from my mouth into the startled face of the host.

I wanted to say - how can you raise a plant without soil? would you deprive your own child of air? but my embarrassed wife quickly explained that I have a weak gag reflex, and managed to make everyone there pity my sickly frame.

So that is how it is, being a misunderstood passionate freerangetarian, always trying to live out an ideal that the world does not understand!

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